Thinking of you is a sin and not thinking of you drives me crazy. I try to remember all the glorious moments we shared, the love we had and the promises of nothing would ever change. Instead I see all the lies that crept up in between, the harsh words exchanged like some video game. I remember you doing me wrong and expecting me to take it all in silence, staying strong. So while all is right in my life and I hope never to see you again… In the dark recess of my mind I wish, we meet just once again so I could Stab you once for all!
Couple of years back, I had major heartache, not that it has left me much since, but I thought I had learnt to deal with it, till I found this song again today.
I used to listen to this song like a mad man over and over again. I would have heard it at least a million times, if not more, back then.
As days went by and breathing continued without much damage than, an obvious weight loss and missing heart, I forgot the song.
Ever since then, I had been trying to find it again.
The heartache continued even though it kept on switching from love, pain, anger to hate depending on the hour of the day, and I still couldn’t recall the song.
Today it has been a few years since the original day and the pain is worse than ever, and I thought, damn it! If I would listen to that song once, I will feel better for sure.
Boy was I wrong, I found the song and along with it I found every thing I lived then.
But I still love the song.
(Its in Hindi, so for those who care to know…
It basically means,
I cant even breath without you, my love, i have been everywhere, without caring about the day or night and i still cant stop looking for you…. i cant be without you even for a minute and now even death is not coming easy, no prayer is helping and i cant breath without you….. or something like that…)
Reflections 