Love?

Standard

“Madam,”

“Hmm…”

“He is going to be your new assistant. “

 “Sweetheart, I already have someone to assist me, you will need to deploy him someplace else.”

“But he is new here and needs mentoring, it’s only till after he is trained.”  she sounded as if rushed.

I looked up to find my office admin looming over my head with a tall guy.

“Oh okay”, I nodded to my assistant to show the new fellow his seat and turned back to my work.

I found him later that day, standing alone in the corner of the cafeteria, looking lost.

I motioned him to come and join me.

He had some food on his plate, which I couldn’t imagine any human eating,

 “Where did you get that from?

“My mother packed me some lunch.”

That was the first time, I noticed his eyes… two pale wet holes, blinking out of control. He never looked straight at anything. I caught him stealing glances in my direction and kept eating without another word.

That was two weeks ago, its Christmas Eve today and I found him again, alone in the car park.

He seemed to have forgotten where he had parked his car and I offered to help him look for it.

“Are you going home for Christmas?”, I asked to get the conversation going.

“I live with my mother”.

It was quiet again.

 “what’s wrong?”

 For next half an hour, he went on about his girl who left him 2 years ago, after 5 years of being in love, while I tried listening to his lifeless tone. It felt like waking up from a dream when we finally stopped in front his car.

I looked up to see his pleading eyes again and felt a chill run through my spine.

I turned and walked away, shuddering,

“Can people really expect to be loved, just because they are begging you, PLEASE?”

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11 responses »

  1. I don’t love is gain by pleading. Love is developed through time. It’s a combination of trust, chemistry, affection, attraction, respect, something that comes from the heart. You are right just to turn back and move on. You deserve your happiness. You deserve to love someone because your heart and mind tells you so. Happy holidays!

  2. I don’t think anyone can expect to be loved. It’s a mutual gift and one have to accept the freedom of choice. And I think your underlying thought in the essay, that of using one’s weaknesses to force others to love one is quite right. Pity is never a good pillar for love or any relationships. Thanks for a thoughtful and well written post.

    • Now, before I even respond to your comment, I got to tell you, I feel so honored that you took the time to come and read my blog. I am in love with your pictures and the way you come up with words to match the beauty and colors. I am glad that you understood the idea behind the words. weakness is only, lack of motion and nothing in front of human effort, hence cannot be redeemed for anything, especially love.

  3. wow….the timing of this is crazy to me. In one of your replies you mentioned the ” lack of will” . I’m at a place right now…where I find myself resenting others because I don’t get their mindset. NOT being able to do something…is just something I don’t grasp. Taking the easier road of being taken care of…instead of caring for self is complete laziness, weakness. And like you…I’d rather not spend my time on pity and feeding into those excuses.
    You are an amazing writer….truly. Book inspiring…amazing.
    Love is crazy, amazing, deadly and oh so unpredictable. But if I read you right….I too have no room for begging of attention or take pity on me attitudes. Nothing more unattractive ….

    • One of the reasons, I wait for you to come and read my blog is because you totally get me. I see you living by the standards set for yourself and not excusing a non adherence. I feel lucky to have found you here, in the virtual world. Thank you for taking the time out to stop by and leaving a comment.

  4. You have written it beautifully with catching those emotions of a betrayed person.
    But i think begging is a too harsh word to be used for that person, who could n’t able to find the replacement. May be he is not lucky enough to have the strength in him to move on. May be he is not that much intelligent to search his own existence, rather than searching for those people’s existence, who has nothing to do with him. For me begging would be appropriate, if that person had never a relationship with that but he by his own thinks that he had.
    I really do not know i am right or wrong while saying this. But may be my blog’s next post has something to do with this concept, nothing similar though. So i just shared my point of view. You are going great work with your blog. Congrats!!

    • Hi Arindam, May be, I am too much of Ayn Rand follower, to believe in the weakness of human ability. May be, I am too harsh, in demanding myself, to rise up to the level of the dreams I want to achieve, rather than making my past failures, to be an excuse for an easy delivery. I have seen individuals wanting to use their weakness as a right of access to something big in life. I am very emotional, but still can’t stand pity, as an emotion for another fellow being. For me, there is no such thing as “not lucky enough” or “lack of intelligence” but only “lack of will”. I don’t mean to offend anyone, I have lived my adult life believing and living this principle and I merely want my characters to depict my idea of ‘heroism’ and ‘bad’ in life. I really appreciate you stopping by and engaging in a thought provoking conversation. Thank you for the wishes.

  5. Was this a personal experience? At first I thought it was an excerpt from a book or along those lines…

    But your last question is such a true reflection. I don’t think loving someone is enough for it to stir feelings in them and cause them to feel the same in return. I used to think this was true, but unrequited love, if this is what his case is, is cruel. And it’s a lesson learned only by living it.

    Love shouldn’t be a request, it should be like a spontaneous gift. It should come from the heart of the person giving it, and not under a cue.

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