Stuck on you!

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Here is another story for Madison’s Friday Fictioneer group.

Feedback, constructive criticism, is most welcome.

My heart is restless and my limbs are stuck, stuck like a fool.

“Get out, before it gets you”

The voices in my head are getting louder and louder, but I still can’t move.

The more I struggle, more tangled I am left, with time, my life seems doomed.

There is no escape from this, I had it coming my way, falling for someone like you.

I am stuck in your lies, held down by own my anger and pain,

No matter, what I do, even after years, your thoughts are driving me insane.

I am so stuck, stuck on you!



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22 responses »

  1. Well done! I think the “Stuck on you,” works well. I don’t see it as frivolous when paired with the intensity of your other words. Spider webs do have a way of sticking to you, don’t they? And, in fact, when you can’t move on you are indeed stuck emotionally, and sometimes, physically too.

    • Thank you so much for stopping by and for the thoughtful comment.I agree, Emotions, however tiny or fragile they may seem have the tendency to grow on you, just like the harmless looking shiny little spiderwebs, that seem to appear out of no where.

    • Dear Doug,
      I can understand how ‘stuck on you’ can make us hum the song, making it lose the gravity it deserves. but if one doesn’t know the song, this would pass, I guess. However I will keep the feedback in mind and will ensure every words proves its worth.
      Thank you for stopping by and for the comment.

      Regards,

      BC

  2. Perfect analogy. Even if you were to break free of the relationship/web there’d still be strands of memories and feelings pulling you back/ not letting go!

    • Dear Paul, You beat me this time in reading the post… Well you got it just right, I was attempting to portray, how getting out of the shadows of a turbulent past can be sticky and draining, even if the relationship itself is long since lost.

  3. the concept is excellent. however, you could have done better than use the phrase “stuck on you.” the concept is very serious, but that phrase is rather frivilous.

    • Dear Rich,

      I have been thinking of your comment since morning and I get it How the ‘Stuck on you’ phrase, can reduce the gravity of the pain portrayed here, but honestly I am still unable to find a better expression to complete the helplessness i wanted to show. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

      Regards,
      BC

  4. I love the analogy of the spider web and the relationship. Sometimes we do feel like the more we try to ‘struggle’ our way free, the more we get caught up in it. Beautiful words (again). 🙂

  5. That’s a pretty scary prospect, to be so stuck in a relationship that you aren’t able to get free. The imagery worked very well together of being stuck in a spider’s web and being stuck with a person.

    • Its the constant struggle for a better and happy life that keeps us moving, so I hope she acts brave. So true about the webs. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful Picture with us, that made me clear the webs off my brain.

      Regards,
      BC

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