Category Archives: Half a spoon of life

Presence of Mind!

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What can I say, my mind has a mind of its own!

It’s faster than the speed of light and more active than a nuclear reactor!!

The moment I touch the first dish or pick a shirt to fold, it leaves me before I can know. It runs wild with the wind and is harder to tame than a horse. I go through my day like a zombie, never knowing what is it that I am doing, what has been done and what I am stepping into next, for my thinking companion is never around.

In my head I have stories forming every minute and I am contemplating a theory or two all the time. It would have been great if I would have chosen writing as a profession, in which case I am sure I would have gone blank in the matter of seconds, but in daily life that I lead and the work I do, it is important that I pay attention to smallest of details. I mean, I would love to have a day when I didn’t have to redress cause I had it on the other way round!

After years of double checking every thing I do, I am now beginning to work on my presence of mind and I can safely say from my last few days experience, it is the hardest thing I have ever done but equally rewarding too. For instance, today for the first time I noticed the beautiful flowers and honey bees on the trail I run on every  day. Even if the control was only for few seconds and the bees took me soon away again into the thoughts of a book I had read by Agatha Christie and from there to a far away land of crime and thriller, I felt alive in those seconds. I soaked in the scarce European sun,  smiled at the beautiful blue sky and felt the cool breeze on my face.

I wish I can live every minute of my life like this. The other day I wrote about wanting a life of dependability. For me presence of mind is first step in being dependable. So, no matter how long it takes  I will tame this wild mind of mine.

Hee haw…

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**Only text is mine Image is thankfully borrowed from http://www.creativitypost.com/philosophy/hold_your_horses_jonah_lehrer_steps_towards_the_science_of_creativity

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Dependability!

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dependable

The other day, after yet another episode of not being able to find my kitchen pen, my always organized husband came to my rescue. He simply took a ribbon and tied my pen to a hook along with a notepad to write on. Voila!

That was such a simple solution and yet, I did not think of it. However that was not the invention of the century nor the event that inspired this post. It was what he said while tying the knot that got my thinking horses running in all directions.

He told me, “You should place things around you in ways that you can depend on them with your life. You need a pen, make sure you will always find one right here.”

 Build a life of dependability! That is exactly what I want!

Being organized isn’t my thing, nor is being disciplined. I tend to lack energy to put things in order and hence half the time I walk in my own home as if I am lost. But that thing about certainty, it goes beyond being organized at home. My blog for instance, is a perfect example of how I function. I come here once in blue moon and write some thing and then forget that I even have a blog. If some random kind soul reads it and wishes to come back to check  if I have anything more to say, I possibly would disappoint him till he unsubscribes himself. Now, don’t think I will change that! But that pretty much sums me up.

So these days, bit by bit, a little every day, I am building a life of dependability. I am making a place for everything and putting everything in its place and Yet Here I am, writing this down at one place I am most likely to forget.

So long my dearest blog, till I think of you again!

**Only text is mine image is thankfully borrowed from… 

http://thesavageworld.wordpress.com/2011/05/23/being-dependable/

Disposable!

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Apart from my usual photography work,  I am currently working on a collection of very short stories that I hope to get published in near future. Recently, I seemed to have run out of ideas for any more such short narrations and that reminded me of my almost forgotten blog.

As I went through what I had written earlier, I saw a missing theme, a much needed central idea for me to come up with those 100 stories that I want in this book. I wanted to write it here before I forget it since this blog has been my special place.

“Our Shelves, Our Markets, Our Lives are filled with Disposable commodities.

Our choices are becoming smart, we even use smarter objects every day. Amidst all this fast paced, ever changing life, our dimensions of human connection or “Love” per se, has changed.

We are today a smart generation with disposable relations, with too many objects and too few emotions, both equally at display on a Facebook home page.”

 

Onion-y Life!

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I am very, very aware of her pretty little face, right at the nape of my neck. She is breathing down on me in her futile attempt at belittling my already little self. I chose to ignore her hushed chuckles as I focus on the blade in hand. I try again, to get in the harder bitter shell.

“Arh! This is just wrong”, I hear her say, but I continue to peel any way.

I dig in my  sharp steel knife into the hardness of much awaited life. The fumes are sharp and flavor is bitter, I don’t notice when I begin to cry. I am done with hard sunny shell of becoming a baby and I can see the sweet layer of tiny steps.  I am getting impatient as I hear her snickering behind my back, I peel away the childhood and all the growing up days.

Oh dear lord!

Comes the rotten layer,  of lies, deceits and all the ugly things that come with college affairs. I wash my hands in lonely tears and get right back on my pealing race. There are sweet flavors of love, motherhood and growing old, but I am too busy getting to the core.  With every layer gone, the silence deepens,  I can’t guess why, she is no longer speaking. I feel the sadness grow, as I am left with nothing more. Surrounded by the shells and layers,  I went through life, like a chore. As I turn around, I see her sad face.  My life, looking up, as if to say,

“Yes, you are done,

but it wasn’t a race,

whatever happened to living and taking a moment to embrace?”

 

To Memories and Mom!

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Today, I took a break from my normal day and spent it wisely – mostly reading Dianne’s blog. I had been busy with my German classes and photography work, keeping myself away from my much-needed reading and writing dose.

Reading her blog made me wonder about many things and I ended up writing 2 stories. One of them I will share here, while other will have to wait.

I was reading an article ‘Memory-Go-Round’, in the said blog and it got me wondering about my first memory, unlike my school days, which I hated so much, I remember most of my younger years. I can recall my memories up to the time when I started talking.

My very first memory needs a bit clarification like,

–          Duppata is a piece of cloth used by women in my religion, to cover their head, which younger generation is gladly skipping these days.

–          While I love my father for standing by all his kids in the time of need, he hasn’t been the father or husband of the year all along.

–          I come from a large family, where my younger aunts(dad’s sisters), 4 of them, spent about 10 or more years with us till they got married, finally!

–          My mother lost her mom when she was 2 and life hasn’t been very kind to her after that.

–          Getting physically beaten, is sadly very common phenomena in my part of the world, to the extent, being slapped is considered a mere expression of affection, the other person holds for the victim. Kids are beaten by parents and wives by husbands, and as much as I hate to admit it, picture isn’t pretty even today.

Now, coming back to the first memory, “the very first thing I remember from my child hood is pulling my mother’s duppatta off of my aunts head, as she used to consider wearing my mom’s best of cloths her birth right, and I hated that from the start. I remember kicking her, hitting her, putting the best fight a young one can put to get her to give the piece of cloth up.  I remember screaming at her to never to touch it again.”, My mom thinks that time, i was around 2.

Thinking of Dianne’s article, I realized how much my first memory reflected my whole life. I have been a Daughter, a Sister, a Wife, a Manager, a Subordinate and much more, but the only thing I have done with all of my heart and strength is, to protect my mother.

Don’t get me wrong my mom is the strongest person I have ever met, but she seems to have immense tolerance for the people she loves and no one can save her from her self-chosen hell.  Ever since I was a kid, I used to tell her that I am actually her long-lost mother, who is here to take care of her.

I haven’t always been courageous in life, but I am glad when it came to protecting my mother, I never felt afraid.

I remember telling my dad to never hit my mother again and getting beaten up instead at 10.

I remember buying her treats from any penny I could save and later when I started earning, I loved buying presents for her for no reason at all.

I can never forget the day my otherwise shy mom told me about her health and how I dragged her to the doctor, knowing something was very wrong.

I am glad I was able to nurse her back to health from being taken down by that scary uterine cancer , and now she feels quite strong.

I have never cried in front of my mother, for I know how much my being strong means to her. I might fail at a thousand things, but my only wish is to never fail my mom.

Evolution!

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We have seen it in the movies! We have read it in the books!

Some of us might even have lived it in the past.

There is always a day, when nothing goes right and when you think the worst has already happened, someone would take you to the new low. He will show you the mirror in the nastiest way and you would wish you were never born. But once the blow is over you could either spend the night crying and cursing the cruel one or grab a paper and pen to make notes, where did you go wrong, what can you do now, to never let anyone talk to you ever again the way that person did.

 We all need our alchemist to test us, to break us, to take us to the traps we would be tested in, till we succeed. The journey is never pretty, but end, my friend, end is always in our hands.  

Not so long ago, someone shook me to my very core.

 My Reaction –

 To be honest, I am one of those, who are naturally born, to grab a box of Kleenex at every opportunity and drown themselves in self-pity and sleep soundly on a very wet pillow, to wake up to being the same miserable selves, the very next day. It’s a survival technique, nothing rubs on us for long, so we continue to exist.  

Only, if only, I had continued to be that way! To my dismay, I chose to evolve, to take the game to a new level (hopefully not lower). So I spent that night thinking of my wrong ways. Today however I feel so proud of myself, because not only have I surprised myself with my ability to improve so quickly, I have left my critique speechless too.

My current success is what Paulo Coelho would have called the beginners luck.

  • Nonetheless, I seem to have taken control over my home. (Yes! Going to be a super home maker! I suck at it, as if now.)
  • I have already finished 2 books in 4 days. (50 is what I wish to achieve by the end of this year and in my defense they were small with about 200 pages each)
  • I am totally consistent on anything I am committing to!
     

 It’s only the start, I know, I have long way to go.

So, did any one shook you up lately?

for a bride to be…

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This one is for a Friend who I know, needed me to note this down for her.

Couple of years ago, I was travelling with a friend of mine whose car was famous for breaking down often. We were in dense fog, out on the road, on an early winter morning and his car broke down. That 2 hours time, wasted in trying not to freeze to death, got me thinking, why this supposedly reliable piece of machine would fail him often?

 It wasn’t hard to guess, apart from being covered in pigeon do do all over, it lacked regular maintenance. Why wouldn’t it give up on him too?  He totally deserved it.

But that’s about things, they need to be taken care of, what about our body?

We often complain about not feeling as young as we used to be once (even though we might be just 25) or not being in shape, when we rarely put a thought to its regular oil change.

This friend of mine is actually my husband’s first cousin and is getting married next month. But instead of shopping and wedding dress, her mind is clouded with the unwanted pimples all over her face. She never had acne problem but these days it seems to be out of control. On digging a little dipper I found that she had bad digestion for long and her eating hobbits are out of control.

Our body works on the same simple rule as computers, GIGO( garbage input, garbage output), even though it has a lot more patience than your computer would. Bad digestion can lead to a lot of problems, leading from stomach ache, back ache (yes it does), bloating, bad skin, lethargy and list is endless.

If you are thinking of your physical well being then here are a few things you should try even before you consider gym.

  1. Fix the time for your meal: ever heard of body clock? Yes, our body likes to work on a time table and when we chose to eat whenever we like, it distorts our digestion cycle, leaving it confused. Fix the time for your meals and don’t vary for more than 30 minutes.
  2. Heavy to light: Keep your breakfast heavy in quantity, to provide you with enough energy for the day and reduce the amount with each meal, making your dinner small in portion and only enough to let you sleep in the night. (it’s hard to have good sleep on an empty stomach)
  3. Don’t mix liquid with food: try to avoid drinking too much water or anything cold while eating. It’s a good idea to drink a glass of water 15 minutes before you start eating and have another after 30 minutes of each meal.
  4. Spare munching:  eating snacks in between meals is a bad idea; try to have something with fiber like a plate of salad or fruit instead of any packed snack.
  5. Carry a carrot: in winters carrots are best you can have in easy to carry snack. Pack your bag with 2 carrots a day to have a glowing and healthy skin. It’s good for eyes too.  
  6. Water water water: this one is no brainer, have a lot of water during the day to keep yourself hydrated, for a healthy body and good skin.
  7. Early dinner: have you dinner at least an hour (ideally 2) before you sleep and don’t eat anything post that.  You can brush your teeth after 15 minutes of having dinner to stop yourself from unwanted munching  
  8. Don’t waste taste:  don’t overdo on salt, sugar and fat (oil, butter etc.) whenever cooking or eating try to preserve the natural flavor of the food. Like you can skip sugar to anything made out of banana as it is already very sweet.
  9. Don’t starve or diet: Now while I suggest that you don’t over eat, it’s also important that you don’t go without a meal. Whenever we chose to skip a meal, our body treats it as an emergency and hangs on to all that it has inside, leaving you with bloated stomach and bad skin.
  10. A Lone time: In the morning before you get on with your day; give yourself at least 5 to 10 minutes when you are doing nothing, mental or physical. You can browse idly through a magazine or pictures to get yourself ready to freshen up.   It’s a bad idea to go to the washroom till you are really ready.

Now, I am no doctor, but I have learnt these tips to keep myself healthy and slim in past few years. You can check with your physician before trying any of these.