Tag Archives: friends

Life’s ways!

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Couple of years ago, I took the low road and succumbed to the easy way out.

We all do that, on day to day basis, don’t we? and mostly there is no harm done. However in my case, I made my situation worse and took another friend down along with me. While the experience itself was painful, shattering and stained with lots of guilty tears, It helped me shape into who I am today and that ways it ended well for me. But in the process I lost a friend and  felt really bad for hurting a nice soul.

No matter how hard I tried to make the mends, it always resulted in exchange of harsh words. Some how this person was capable of bringing the worst out of me. I could lash out with insults I never knew existed and in result ended up being wounded even more. I was somehow convinced that I was the bad one and the other person was the victim here.

Till about last year, after another failed attempt at reconciliation, I took a step back and finally decided to let it all go. May be I was not the only one to be blamed and may be not every bridge can be mended again. I vowed to not make things any worse and prayed every day for the strength to carry on.

While it worked for me, it seems this dear friend of mine is still not able to let go. Every couple of months I get insults swinged at me, and unlike in the past, I am easily able to dodge.  I don’t feel the need to prove a point or hurt back any more.

Just the other day I got another note, wishing for me to burn in Hell and So intense was the need of this person to hurt me hard, that the poor soul couldn’t even frame the words right. I always used to get so hurt reading the words addressed to me that no decent person deserves to hear, and today all I feel is compassion for the person, who must be so overwhelmed with feelings that couldn’t even wait to get the note straight.

Every day lived, especially the ones I feel were unnecessarily hard, seem to bring out the best in me. Every minute, I am given a choice to take it easy or work hard for all its worth and I try not to forget the fallen moments and work hard to make it count, even if, its just for a day.

Being Tagged!

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I suppose this would be THE most delayed, response to blog tagging game and to be honest for the first time ever, I can truly claim that this time the delay wasn’t solely due to my much blamed laziness.

You see last few months have been really happening on this part of the world. I was on the road most of the time, went through 10 countries(Europe),clocked more than 5000 km, learnt a new language, helped a friend in editing a book and last but the most important, I have finally picked up my craft. Yes people! I will be launching my own studio of photography and digital art by end of this year (No I am not quitting writing).

Coming back to the task at hand, so here is the thing, onwindydays has asked me to answer a few questions and as per my friend here,

I must…

1. post the rules. (X)
2. answer the questions the tagger listed for me (Getting there…).
3. create (or reuse) 11 questions for those I tag. (I liked these questions, I think I will use them again.)
4. tag 11 people. (Okay!)
5. let them know they’ve been tagged.(Oh man! this time I will definitely get Kicked out for spamming)

Moving on to Questions…

1. What is your favorite quote, who is it from, and why?

There are many, but the current one is by Ratan Tata, (Prominent Indian Industrialist),

” I don’t believe in taking right decisions. I take decisions and then make them right, so always believe in your ability and efforts.” 

Reason being, I wasted more than 29 years of my life not taking the decisions I should have long ago, simply cause, I was too afraid of being wrong. Now a days, I am making new mistakes and it feels great!

2. Which song can bring you to tears or reminds you of your childhood?

Well, its a Punjabi (my mother tongue) song, its about a middle aged man recalling his small village, long lost mother and lack of things in his childhood days, that made life much happier then, than it is today.

Artist  – Gurdas Mann

3. What is one thing that keeps you going day in and day out?

There are many, but mostly I think, the fear of leaving this world with regret of not having lived enough and My partner’s constant pushing keeps me going. but I do break down more often than I would like to.

4. Why did you start blogging?

Too much activity in my head and first time living alone, got me to start writing online (whatever happened to that blog, hmm).

5. Is there one thing that you regret not doing in the past? If so, would you be willing to share what that was on here?

Regrets are many, too many to mention, but mostly I regret having higher expectations and dependency on others in the past. Thankfully I am keeping it in check these days.

6. What is one thing that you saw that restored your faith in the human race?

I have had the fortune to see so many people bounce back in life from fatal setbacks and that’s pure human spirit. This is what got us out of caves (and thumbs) and this is what will ensure that we survive through worst of storms.

7. Rain or Sun?

Nothing beats Indian Monsoon but I like European Sun too.

8. What movie had the most impact on you? (A movie that just really made you challenge your view on anything)

There are many,

In pursuit of happiness, Tare zameen pe, Lakshya (Both Hindi movies)…

9. List five words that describe your character.

Creative, Dreamy, Patient, Lazy (too patient with myself, I guess) and very Protective of the ones I love .

10. What is your greatest fear?

Dying without leaving a legacy behind.

11. What do you ultimately want to accomplish in the days to come?

In the end, I want to have a life so enriched with experiences that I would be able to say goodbye with a smile.

As I said before, I really enjoyed answering these questions so I would really love to hear about them from you too. So here are my 11 bloggers and their Questions….

niasunset

brickthomas

Serendipitous Girl

amritdharra

dmmacilroy

Linda Parkinson-Hardman

Dianne Gray

Readinpleasure

Coco Ginger

Jay

Lucid Gypsy

1. What is your favorite quote, who is it from, and why?

2. Which song can bring you to tears or reminds you of your childhood?

3. What is one thing that keeps you going day in and day out?

4. Why did you start blogging?

5. Is there one thing that you regret not doing in the past? If so, would you be willing to share what that was on here?

6. What is one thing that you saw that restored your faith in the human race?

7. Rain or Sun?

8. What movie had the most impact on you? (A movie that just really made you challenge your view on anything)

9. List five words that describe your character.

10. What is your greatest fear?

11. What do you ultimately want to accomplish in the days to come?

Alright people I am off to spamming now….

Friendly chat!

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My dearest friend,

come sit,

lets talk, like we have never before.

Tell me, about the world you are in,

Let me in your core.

Do you get scared too,

for having so many dreams?

do your thoughts come haunting,

wanting to make you scream?

How do you handle the restless mind,

is it easy to tame?

How do you put an end,

to all these mind games?

My dearest friend,

talk to me,

for I am here for you.

Never mind the loneliness,

often, I feel it too.

Moving on…

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No matter how much I cribbed in the past, about the mundane of life, about hating the same routine and not getting to do new things, I  have learnt, I am not big on change either.

With every passing day, I am moving away and away from my life, the way it was 15 years ago and it kills me. Till about few years back I missed seeing Vespa’s & Bjaj’s on the roads and I was suddenly aware of every diminishing local repair shop for scooters, back in India. All the motor bikes had strategically removed scooters from the roads and along with it went, numerous Motor mechanics who worked for years just to fix these beauties. Its nothing new, once these very scooters had eliminated those harmless bicycles and their repair shops, just the same way.

If this is how it is suppose to be then why is it so hard to let go?

I hated my childhood, for I was always an ugly duckling, and but now, being a swan doesn’t feel any better either! I miss my childhood and  often wonder what is wrong with the kids today for not wanting to play outdoors, the way we used to?

I miss my Mom, My family, my home but most of all, I miss myself. I have hundreds of friends in my social networks on-line and on the phone, still why sitting here I feel I have never been lonelier.

Shouldn’t success make up for all the nostalgic feelings, that one might get along the way? I have never wanted any one this much, when I was sinking low in life, but sunny days seem to make me wish for company like never before.

I wanted to write something for Friday Fiction today, however I couldn’t even breath for all the nostalgia that was choking me down, I tried and I tried, but gave in to writing this instead. It’s a letter to an old friend whose name I have forgotten, a prayer to GOD I haven’t spoken to in a long time.

Please, Please come and be with me, just for one day!

***I am attaching a song, which is actually in my native tongue, however you don’t need to know the words to understand the pain of a guy, who is almost old and no longer sees what he had as a child.