Tag Archives: hurt

Life’s ways!

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Couple of years ago, I took the low road and succumbed to the easy way out.

We all do that, on day to day basis, don’t we? and mostly there is no harm done. However in my case, I made my situation worse and took another friend down along with me. While the experience itself was painful, shattering and stained with lots of guilty tears, It helped me shape into who I am today and that ways it ended well for me. But in the process I lost a friend and  felt really bad for hurting a nice soul.

No matter how hard I tried to make the mends, it always resulted in exchange of harsh words. Some how this person was capable of bringing the worst out of me. I could lash out with insults I never knew existed and in result ended up being wounded even more. I was somehow convinced that I was the bad one and the other person was the victim here.

Till about last year, after another failed attempt at reconciliation, I took a step back and finally decided to let it all go. May be I was not the only one to be blamed and may be not every bridge can be mended again. I vowed to not make things any worse and prayed every day for the strength to carry on.

While it worked for me, it seems this dear friend of mine is still not able to let go. Every couple of months I get insults swinged at me, and unlike in the past, I am easily able to dodge.  I don’t feel the need to prove a point or hurt back any more.

Just the other day I got another note, wishing for me to burn in Hell and So intense was the need of this person to hurt me hard, that the poor soul couldn’t even frame the words right. I always used to get so hurt reading the words addressed to me that no decent person deserves to hear, and today all I feel is compassion for the person, who must be so overwhelmed with feelings that couldn’t even wait to get the note straight.

Every day lived, especially the ones I feel were unnecessarily hard, seem to bring out the best in me. Every minute, I am given a choice to take it easy or work hard for all its worth and I try not to forget the fallen moments and work hard to make it count, even if, its just for a day.

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in the dark recess of my mind

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100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups – Week#46

Thinking of you is a sin and not thinking of you drives me crazy. I try to remember all the glorious moments we shared, the love we had and the promises of nothing would ever change. Instead I see all the lies that crept up in between, the harsh words exchanged like some video game. I remember you doing me wrong and expecting me to take it all in silence, staying strong. So while all is right in my life and I hope never to see you again… In the dark recess of my mind I wish, we meet just once again so I could Stab you once for all!

Living on the side line!

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*** This story is part of Camp NaNoWriMo hence, it is an unedited version of the story i probably would like to fix in future.

I know it’s just a photograph, just like any other – the kinds you saw in ‘Jerry Maguire’! The one with Tom Cruise’s shoulder, except this time, that shoulder belongs to me. Now, I know its just a picture, and I was little off the focus anyhow, so it shouldn’t bother me, right?

Wrong!

I mean, this is how it has always been, starts with me being everything and ends with me being just a limb, I shoulder – to cry on, climb on and easy to forget and move on.

It all started long ago, when I was taught just one thing…Make money!

And make money I did. Although, I learnt another thing, to spot a talent, and then to attract the biggest bum with talent in town. So they called me a Resource/Talent Manager.

I met men after men, sometimes women too (not for the same reason) who were sinking low in life and needed me (a shoulder).

Shouldn’t I be some sort of ‘selfless, doing the good for others’ sort of soul?

But I am not, I am tired of being used and then left with nothing, not even thank you.

Anyhow, this particular photograph is about a different story, it’s about a hero in making, it’s about hard work, tears, hopes, stress, love and his side kick.

Being hero is obviously not easy, first you need to have a talent, which is not so common these days. Then you need someone who would believe that you do have a talent. That first person who believes in you, sees you as you want to be, may be on some future day is the key here.

While people write about heroes all the time, I want to focus on the side kick, that one man/woman behind all the success – that cut out shoulder who is never talked about.

How does it feel to be the one, always on the side line?