No matter how much I cribbed in the past, about the mundane of life, about hating the same routine and not getting to do new things, I have learnt, I am not big on change either.
With every passing day, I am moving away and away from my life, the way it was 15 years ago and it kills me. Till about few years back I missed seeing Vespa’s & Bjaj’s on the roads and I was suddenly aware of every diminishing local repair shop for scooters, back in India. All the motor bikes had strategically removed scooters from the roads and along with it went, numerous Motor mechanics who worked for years just to fix these beauties. Its nothing new, once these very scooters had eliminated those harmless bicycles and their repair shops, just the same way.
If this is how it is suppose to be then why is it so hard to let go?
I hated my childhood, for I was always an ugly duckling, and but now, being a swan doesn’t feel any better either! I miss my childhood and often wonder what is wrong with the kids today for not wanting to play outdoors, the way we used to?
I miss my Mom, My family, my home but most of all, I miss myself. I have hundreds of friends in my social networks on-line and on the phone, still why sitting here I feel I have never been lonelier.
Shouldn’t success make up for all the nostalgic feelings, that one might get along the way? I have never wanted any one this much, when I was sinking low in life, but sunny days seem to make me wish for company like never before.
I wanted to write something for Friday Fiction today, however I couldn’t even breath for all the nostalgia that was choking me down, I tried and I tried, but gave in to writing this instead. It’s a letter to an old friend whose name I have forgotten, a prayer to GOD I haven’t spoken to in a long time.
Please, Please come and be with me, just for one day!
***I am attaching a song, which is actually in my native tongue, however you don’t need to know the words to understand the pain of a guy, who is almost old and no longer sees what he had as a child.